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If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans: Ann Coulter at Her Best, Funniest, and Most Outrageous [Secure eReader (recommended)/Microsoft Reader/Adobe PDF]
by Ann Coulter

You Pay:  $13.95

Category: Politics/Government
Description: Uttering lines that send liberals into paroxysms of rage, otherwise known as "citing facts," is the spice of life. When I see the hot spittle flying from their mouths and the veins bulging and pulsing above their eyes, well, that's when I feel truly alive. So begins If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans, Ann Coulter's funniest, most devastating, and, yes, most outrageous book to date. Coulter has become the brightest star in the conservative firmament thanks to her razor-sharp reasoning and biting wit. Of course, practically any time she opens her mouth, liberal elites denounce Ann, insisting that "She's gone too far!" and hopefully predicting that this time it will bring a crashing end to her career. Now you can read all the quotes that have so outraged her enemies and so delighted her legions of fans. More than just the definitive collection of Coulterisms, If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans includes dozens of brand-new commentaries written by Coulter and hundreds of never-before-published quotations. This is Ann at her best, covering every topic from A to Z.
eBook Publisher: Random House, Inc./Crown Forum,
Books By Dames Release Date: October 2007

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Available eBook Formats [Secure eReader (recommended)/Microsoft Reader/Adobe PDF - What's this?]: SECURE MICROSOFT READER FORMAT [330 KB] - Requires Microsoft Reader 2.1.1 for PCs, SECURE EREADER (RECOMMENDED) FORMAT [186 KB], SECURE ADOBE PDF FORMAT [1.5 MB], OEBFF Format (IMP) [411 KB]
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AIRPORT SECURITY: MAKE IMAMS TAKE BUSES

Since flights resumed after the attacks of September 11, 2001, the sounds of the airport have included the tinkle of tweezers being dropped in airport security "weapons" boxes, the patter of bare feet through magnetometers, and hearty shouts of Step aside, Mohammed, we've got to frisk the blonde chick! But there's good news, too. It's now virtually impossible to hijack a plane using an oversized carry-on bag or a bottle of Evian water.

[The evidence]

THE men who used passenger jets to attack America on Sept. 11 were Muslim extremists.

Last year, our warship the USS Cole was attacked by Muslim extremists.

In 1998, U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by Muslim extremists, killing 212 people and wounding thousands.

In 1996, Muslim extremists exploded a truck bomb outside an Air Force housing complex in Saudi Arabia, killing 19 and injuring hundreds more.

In 1995, five Americans were killed in a car bomb explosion executed by Muslim extremists.

In 1993, the World Trade Center was bombed by Muslim extremists, killing six and injuring thousands.

Also in 1993, Muslim extremists plotted to assassinate former U.S. president George Bush. (Intriguingly, the word "assassin" comes from a Muslim sect active in the 11th to 13th centuries known as "the Assassins" for their religious practice of murdering infidels.)

In 1988, another passenger jet, Pan Am flight 103, was bombed by Muslim extremists, killing 270 people.

In 1986, Muslim extremists bombed a West Berlin discotheque frequented by U.S. servicemen.

In 1985, Muslim extremists seized an Italian cruise ship, the Achille Lauro, and murdered Leon Klinghoffer, a sixty-nine-year-old, wheelchair-bound American.

In 1983, Muslim extremists blew up U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut, killing 241 American servicemen.

In 1982, Muslim extremists bombed the U.S. embassy in Beirut, killing 49 people, including 17 Americans.

In 1979, Muslim extremists stormed the U.S. embassy in Iran and held American embassy staff hostage for 444 days.

So naturally, it took the airlines completely by surprise last week when the passenger who tried to detonate a sneaker bomb on a passenger jet turned out to be a Muslim extremist. Doggedly imitating an Alzheimer's joke, the airlines instantly began ever more intrusive examinations of elderly black men, cowboys, and Asian women with small children.—"We'll Pay Them Reparations Later," 12-27-01

9/11 commissioner John Lehman revealed that "it was the policy [before 9/11] and I believe remains the policy today to fine airlines if they have more than two young Arab males in secondary questioning because that's discriminatory." Hmmm…Is nineteen more than two?—"Thank You for Choosing United, Mr. bin Laden," 4-15-04

[I]N the government's obsessive drive for "equality," perhaps airport security guards will be forced to start searching Arabs now, too.—"Mineta's Bataan Death March," 2-28-02

THE FAA's new hijacker repellent is this: Passengers will now have to show boarding passes to get to the gates. This wily stratagem will stop cold any hijackers on suicide missions who forgot to buy airline tickets.—"Where's Janet Reno When We Need Her?," 9-20-01

SO far, America's response to a calculating cold-blooded enemy has been to say, "Excuse me, you seem to have dropped your box cutter."—"Future Widows of America: Write Your Congressman," 9-28-01

THE government's logical calculus on flight security has long been: Really Annoying = Safe Plane. (Does anyone not know how to use a seat belt? Say you were an alien from a distant galaxy and had never in your entire life seen a seat belt before—couldn't you figure it out?)—"Where's Janet Reno When We Need Her?," 9-20-01

Copyright © 2007 by Ann Coulter.


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